I took a deep breath and called his number. I dialed and was a little taken aback when he picked up on the first ring. He said hello in a cheery voice, he sounded totally different than I imagined. I also picked up from his voice inflections how sensitive and caring of a person he is. In the first minute of the call, I introduced myself to him. The entire time we’ve messaged online, (almost two months now) I hadn’t told him my real name or where I live in relation to him. I’ve seen pictures of him, but he’s only seen my cartoon drawing and he had no idea where I live or my name until just now.
He thought my name was beautiful and my voice was sexy. I was appreciative but sure that I sounded like an idiot. The normal me is so confident and always dealing with my issues on my own. Calling someone in the middle of the night, crying was so uncharacteristic of me. I’m always strong, don’t break too often at all... well this breakdown was a doozie.
I didn’t want to talk about the reason I was so upset so we talked about everything else. He started off saying thank you and how much he appreciated my trust in him. He knew how guarded I am about my anonymity and it meant a lot to him that I had faith in him.
He asked me questions about me and my kids, where we live. I wanted to know about his family and the city he called home. We talked about our friendship and he opened up that his feelings for me went further than friendship. Hearing this was a little surprising and I didn’t want to minimize how he felt, but it was hard to understand how he could be so sure. He’s never seen my face and this was the first time he had heard my voice. He reassured me that his feelings were real and it was such a rush to finally hear my voice.
He explained that he had grown close to me through my words and so many of them struck a chord with him. He wanted the same things as I did, to have passion and love again. He was attracted to my sense of humor on the blog and Twitter and how I was always optimistic through my challenges. I asked him when he realized that his feelings were more than just the friendship that we cultivated. He told me that he felt pangs of jealousy after he read a post about my feelings for Latin Lover. Those feelings were surprising to him even and he tried to dismiss them but couldn’t. He resolved then to hang back and see how the relationship with Latin Lover would resolve, until then he was going to keep in touch every day.
He told me how as time passed he thought of me every morning when he woke up, so he wanted to send me those good morning messages. He also didn’t want to go to sleep without saying good night to me every single night. As he was saying these words he got a little choked up as the emotion hit him. This moment was when it all started feeling real and it made me realize his feelings were authentic.
I told him that I felt close to him but the distance scared me. I didn’t know what I could feel but I’d be open to it if he wanted me to. It was only fair in this moment to be honest with him about my feelings for Latin Lover. Things were still dangling a little and I know I for one I wasn’t sure it was over. His reaction was so genuine and expressed a lot of gratitude. He just told me to take my time and he wasn’t going anywhere. I could tell how honest and sincere he was about his feelings.
We both were exhausted, happened to check the time and were shocked that we had been on the phone for 2 and a half hours. We said quick but heartfelt goodbyes and promised to talk again soon.Smooches,
The Single Mom
Coming soon: Would we talk again soon? What about Latin Lover? What does my reader say when he sees my face?
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